Just read about her project, she’s hilarious. She’ll send you a coconut, a sailor hat, a Big Gulp full of stuff from afar… I can’t sail the world, but I sure would like to, so I’ll support it. Double points for her cool glasses.

I pledged $26.71, because I wanted to pledge over $25 and I liked the way those numbers mirror each other.

What should my spirit animal be though? Hmm.

Thanks, Kirsten, for the link.

So, how to celebrate fall? Launch a squirrel? And a bunch of nuts, separately?

“Visitors are requested not to break down doors in search of liquor, even when authorized to do so by the host and hostess … Weekend guests are respectfully notified that the invitation to stay over Monday issued by the host-hostess during the small hours of Sunday morning must not be taken seriously.”

Note it says the small hours of Sunday–quite the party people! Found in an article on The Seven Vices of Highly Creative People on Salon.

Image: jonbarad

Image: Flickr/Jmcar

All this afternoon, rumors were flying about comedian Dave Chappelle being in Portland. On Twitter, people claimed to see him in the same spot hours apart. He ate at Masu last night, he’s staying at the Heathman, he’s near Zach’s Shack, still there…and then the doozy, from the clothing boutique Local 35: A Twitter announcement that Chappelle would host a secret midnight show…in Portland’s living room Pioneer Square Plaza, at midnight.

Up until 11:30pm, I didn’t believe it enough to go, even after the Portland Mercury called Local 35 owner Justin and confirmed that Chappelle had been in the store. The language was a little fishy, no one said “Chappelle said there will be a secret show” at any time, so primary sources were obscured. But then @Local35Store posted this picture of thousands of people in the square on Twitter, and I just had to go.

That first Twitter announcement from Local 35? That was the original catalyst for those thousands to come down. Hoax or no, I could meet my friends and be a part of, well, at worst a Twitter hoax. That’s a digital novelty well worth the 9 minute bike downtown.

I arrived just before midnight to a mass of people, about 5 thousand at my estimate. And then we waited. And waited. At around 12:45 people started jumping on the stage (set up for summer concerts) in hoodies, making the crowd go wild before they revealed themselves to be all of 15 years old.

Teenagers were hanging from the rafters in every way: on top of bus shelters, on top of Starbucks, 30 feet off the ground on art trellises. It was wild. It was fun. It was alarmingly young (particularly when they took their tops off later). I was drinking wine, and every third group was sending up big plumes of pot. And at 1am, we assumed it was done, and turned to leave.

That’s when Dave showed up. This video is pretty much how the night went for him:

We merged back into the crowd and I was situated right next to that photo, maybe 15 deep, but Chappelle had brought only a tiny Vox amp and it was very, very difficult to hear him. We all hung tight, yahooing and picking up a few words, until nearly 2am. My favorite Chappelle quotes:  I didn’t realize I was still famous. 2nd: This is the greatest show that almost happened. And then of course: What I’ve learned is, don’t tell a secret in Portland.

Even standing right there, I heard maybe 5 full sentences, and at least one was telling us to be quiet, and one was telling us an amp was on the way. That amp showed, gloriously, but they couldn’t get a power source, despite running several extension cords around through the crowd, kind of desperately hoping to hit an outlet. Chappelle was in a tough spot, barely audible to a massive audience who had been waiting excitedly for him, which must be a comedian’s nightmare.

He eventually told everyone to leave peacefully and quietly because the cops–who were surrounding the square block two squad cars deep–were “seriously stressing” and the sound just wasn’t happening. Check your sources tomorrow, he said, for something else he’d come up with.

I’ll be interested to hear how the Portland Police react to this, and also the local media. I saw most traditional media outlets post the rumor, but did any of their people hang out in the square until 1am for the show? We’ll see, goodness knows lots of local figures were there and everyone tweeted and twitpiced the heck out of it, there were phones and cameras in the air like lighters for a ballad.

We’ll all be checking Twitter all day tomorrow for the scoop on another show, but the secret’s already out.

Update: The Oregonian covered it at OregonLive, using primarily @Local35Store’s tweets…new territory for them. Well done, O.

The kicker was that it was warm. Other entries ranged from a tempe salad in the shape of a pentagram with blinking red bike lights underneath to a breakfast salad which–hold onto your panties–consisted of waffles cut along the squares, breakfast link pieces, and egg pieces (frittata like) mixed with maple syrup and butter. I ate like three pounds of that. At least three dissenters went the metal/punk route:

No word yet on whether we won the category “most metal.”

From there, we rode just over 6 miles up to St Johns to her friend Brent’s house, where a backyard sing-a-long was happening around the firepit. This was extra good because he’s in the band Menomena and other musical people were there, so they could do all the songs on two guitars, a drum set, and keyboards all set up around the fire. Audrey performed Warren G’s regulators, we sang Talking Heads and Phil Collins, and Portland love filled the air. Summers here cannot be topped.

And I plan to stick to it. If I can snowboard well, I feel like this can’t be all that different. Growing up in Telluride (where many wrote the zip code as sk81435), you just had to hit the slopes. Being in Portland, I’ve learned to bike well, and now I’m ready for a new sport. A sport that can pack in a small bag and fit in the overhead bin on a plane.

Plus, I’ve always found ladies who skate sexy, and I’m ready to join the club. With wrist guards at first. And I don’t plan to do any tricks, just get from point A to point B with a few curbs between.

One of my coworkers runs a snowboarding club at Mt Hood, and offered to take me out skating (or sk8ing as she put it) a bit. Plus, there’s a ladies skate night at Dept. of Skateboarding here in town. So it’s all matching up. Now I just need this cute mock neck sweatshirt by Nikita (sold at Zumiez, no less!), and I’ll be on my way.

With the Chinook Book coupon, the only up front cost was $35 for the annual membership, and I got $50 in driving time, which I’m going to use on the Mini Cooper convertible this weekend, woo hoo!

It’s such a relief to no longer have a car, but there are times when you just need one. Like when your friend has a bday party out near Beaverton, or when you have to take a bunch of crap to Goodwill. (I missed the party, and put all the stuff on the curb with a free sign then watched people pull over. I love Portland, city of scavengers!)

If you live in Portland and want to join Zipcar, get the coupon from me. If you don’t, you can use this refer a friend box and we’ll both get $25 in driving credit:

Onward and upward with simplifying my life, starting with being (mostly) car free!

Clarification: The coupon is in the Chinook Book. If you have one, use it. If you don’t, say HEY C! And I’ll give it to you.

What closet did this fall out of? And did I just make your day? I thought so, it made mine.

Via Uppity Stuff, a blog of quirky music that you just have to get into, internet. Just do it, internet. Ha. Blogrolled.

Needing something to do next, we loaded in the car and headed to the mall hoping to get a picture with a guy in a bunny costume, kids and lines be dammed. But the mall was closed for Easter, something apparently only people like us (mall-avoiders) and homeless guys didn’t know.

How do you find a place where there will be a guy in a bunny costume? You call the Library Reference Line at (503) 988-5234. You can ask them anything. Don, who works for the library, says they get questions ranging from “how do I tell someone I love them?” to “how do I remodel my house?”

I asked where we could find someone in a bunny costume, and without cracking up she put me on hold. When she came back she had the Oregonian event listings and, still straight-voiced, said the only one with a bunny was the Oregon Humane Society, which would also have real bunnies. Reference librarian, you are amazing.

There were indeed real bunnies, and they loved themselves some Italian parsley. That’s Lily. If you live in Oregon, you have to go visit the OHS. It’s clean and big and stunningly organized, with a cat side full of themed play areas and comfortable beds. Don returned with a cat named Earl, a laid-back stripey dude.

Thanks to Abe for the picture and Plumpy for resending it to get around my tech-sad phone.

Update: A friend who shall not be named wrote to tell me that once, in high school, her and her teenage friends called the reference librarian hotline and asked if semen is kosher. The librarian reported back that if the man is kosher, it is. I wish the reference librarians kept a blog of questions they receive, wouldn’t that be an incredible read?